Dr. John Gottman, PhD, a 40-year veteran of marriage and divorce studies, co-founder of the Gottman Institute, and author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, has noticed a clear pattern among couples who get divorced. What are the sure signs of divorce? And what is its number one predictor? Contempt.
When a couple does not deal with their problems immediately and effectively, they are at risk of short-term issues festering into long-term issues… which can lead to contempt. Mike McNulty, Ph.D., LCSW, one of the professionals at the Gottman Institute, has determined four negative patterns of communication that lead to divorce:
Every couple has problems and disagreements; but, it is how they handle those issues that make or break a relationship. Kindness and compassion will keep you together. Disgust and contempt will break you apart.